As a Canadian musician and artist, I always try to pour my heart and soul into my craft. There's something incredibly rewarding about working hard at something you're passionate about - especially when the results feel like something you can be proud of. I'm a big believer in striving for excellence, honing your skills, and sharing your passions with others.
But I've also discovered that it's dangerously easy to start measuring my self-worth by my achievements. And that, I've learned, can be a slippery and self-punishing slope.
The Validation Cycle
I don't know if you're like me, but I'm constantly tempted to let my successes define my value. When a piece I've written resonates with others, or a performance goes well, it's incredible - there's no greater feeling! But I've learned that building our identity on these moments, inevitably leads to emotional turmoil when things don't go as planned. It becomes a recipe for anxiety and stress, and I've certainly had my share of those moments.
During a recent counselling session, I discovered that I've spent a lot my life feeling as though I need to ‘earn my space’. As in, somehow prove to the world that ‘yes, I do belong here - let me prove to you that I belong here!’. It's yet another form of Imposter Syndrome - this deep need to validate my place in the world.
What I've come to realize is how important it is to anchor myself in being rather than doing. When I remember that my value isn't tied to my latest success or failure, but rather to who I am as an imperfect-but-loved human being, I find a sense of peace and steadiness that circumstances can't shake.
A Stronger Foundation
There's an old story Jesus told that has always resonated deeply with me; it's a story about a wise builder who constructed his house on solid rock, and a foolish one who built on sand. When storms came, one house stood firm while the other collapsed. The foundation made all the difference.
I think about this often in my own life. When I root my worth in my accomplishments - the projects I complete, the recognition I receive, the goals I hit - I'm essentially building my house on sand. It might work for a while, but when inevitable setbacks come (and they always do), that foundation shifts beneath me.
But when I anchor my sense of self in something deeper - in the fact that I was created with purpose and intention (as we all are), that my worth exists independent of my performance - I become resilient in a different way. My worth isn't on the line with every success or failure. The storms still come, but the house stands.
Finding Balance
Again: I'm a huge advocate for working hard and creating beautiful, excellent things. This perspective doesn't change that drive at all. The difference is that I'm learning not to tie my self-worth to the success or failure of different projects and accomplishments.
This shift in thinking (when I actually practice it!) has brought me a sense of peace, allowing me to weather the ups and downs with a greater calm. If you've ever felt the weight of defining yourself by your accomplishments, I hope that this can be a reminder - you are not what you do. You have inherent value as a human being; you are someone that has been created with purpose and intention, by Love - and for Love. And that’s a much better foundation to stand on.
